Just Have Hope

 "Whoever decided that eighteen is the time to be an adult had too many expectations." -Liz I have just turned 19 (last Friday) and looking back being 18 for a year did not exactly go the way I planned. But then again, does anything go the way we plan it to?  Being an adult is hard. Half the time I felt like I was a kid pretending to be an adult. Sometimes I walk into a store and have to remind myself that I am old enough to be shopping on my own. Haha! In the eyes of the law, I am a legal adult but as for everything else I am adult-ish. As I have learned from going to YSA, no one has everything figured out. In fact, the people in YSA don't act the way I expected them to. Everyone is still growing up one way or another and facing whatever life decides to throw at them.  If I had another year of high school I would nail it. Now I am in a new stage of life and I have to learn to be a successful young adult in college. Turns out the next stage of life always occurs right aft...

 Do you remember...  Watching the lights,  From so far away? And we thought...  How could we ever be there? In the lights, brilliant, and bright. But ever so slowly.  We got closer. And we didn't even know it. We headed towards it. To embrace it.  The lights, so brilliant, and bright. And before it was only one direction. I could turn myself around. And miss it. But now we are surrounded. It's blinding. Oh so blinding. How? How am I ready? What if I don't shine? But we've come so far. It's time to accept your fate. And shine. Brilliantly! 

 I recently participated in a poetry slam. I wrote a poem for it. This is a rendition of fading colors. Chasing Colors Blinding white. Everywhere you look.  Nothing in sight. Except that’s not true. I’m chasing colors. All the time. Some colors have always been there. Navy blue and royal purple.  I have always known you.   But some colors fade. And no matter how much you chase them… They go away. Charcoal black and lucky yellow. How can I move on? What is life like without you? But I’m running from some colors. Forest green and smokey gray.  I’m trying to hide but there’s just no way. And some colors surprise you. Like apple red and shiny gold. They fit in so well now. Like they’ve always been there. There are so many colors. Rustic orange. Camouflage green. Blushing pink. Stunning periwinkle. And midnight blue. They come from left and right. Up and down. Diagonal. And backwards.  Lime green. Pale lavender. Jamming turquoise.  Soft cyan. ...

Pretty china doll in the window. Looking at the street below. Faded ribbons in her hair. The leaves are changing. From exotic green to cherry red. The wind is blowing; strong and fierce. Brand new ribbons. In a package.  Just out of reach. Perhaps they are just too much. Lucky yellow, flamingo pink, and ocean blue. The faded ones are better. But as the season turns.  The air grows crisper.  And the leaves have fallen to the ground.  More packages have arrived. Royal purple, jamming turquoise, and gleaming orange.  Why can't the old ones just do? The first frost has made its appearance. Midnight black, pearl white, and soft violet.  When will they ever end? But smokey gray is coming undone. Soft green is looking ratty. And pale blue is stained. Oh, and she remembers. The feast of food. The chirping crickets. And the blazing sun. But if all you see is what was. You lose sight of the future.  And those chances pass you by. She takes out the ribbons. And p...

Dancing Stepping into a dark room. Feels too empty. We’re lacking in numbers. We walk around the gym, Admiring the glow of neon. Our reliance on the black lights. People make excuses, But they're missing out. No one can get this back. I stop caring about their opinions. I stop caring if no one else is dancing. I stop caring about my thoughts, the little disappointments. I am,  Dancing. Nothing matches the sheer joy of moving. Jiving to the beat. And making friends with the rhythm. Dancing is wonderful. Glorious. And if they would only forget about everyone else… They would get lost in the beat… The madness. The freedom of... Dancing. And oh when that one song comes on. Everyone joins in the simple steps. And the room is filled with dancing, Dancing. And then a slow song reverberates.  And I wish and I hope, Someone, anyone, will ask me to dance. There aren’t many asking this time. You take my hand and spin me around. Oh, dancing is better, With you.   Turn me out. And bac...

  Labels Over there on the corner of the street. Is the girl with the sign. Worn shoes, battered clothes, worse for the wear. Clearly, she made bad decisions in life. Across the hall is another kid in my school. Except he’s not like me. He’s stuck in a chair for the rest of his life. There’s no point in speaking to him then, forget even looking his way. Downstairs there’s the boy in all black. He doesn’t have many friends. Doesn’t talk to many people. One can assume he’s all doom and gloom. And out there on the park bench. Is a woman who paints every day. A large ring on her finger. Happy she must be with wealth like that. But little do they know… The girl on the corner, tossed out by her own family.  She has no one left.  She is forced to fend for herself. But little do they know… The boy in the wheelchair is the greatest friend you could ever have. If only you would spend the time getting to know him. But little do they know… The boy in black has faced such grief and pa...

  Simplicity  And there she stood. Fenced in. Standing upon green grass, full of little flowers. The sun setting in the distance. Her mind whirled. Questions and thoughts filled her mind. Emotions spiraling and spiraling. Endless thinking and thinking. But then she stopped. She looked at the beauty around her. Felt the wind on her skin. Watched the sun. Ran across the grass. Picked up flowers and sticks. And she forgot about everything else. Why couldn’t this just be her world? Riding a swing towards the sky. Racing across the field under the warmth of the sun. Picking up the stones and sticks of the earth. As much as the fence reminded her of this little world…  It told her that so much more existed out of it. That life continues. It’s complicated. And it never ends. And so as she left the fence. The field with the flowers. The tree and the swing. And the little boy who took joy in the smallest things. She vowed to remember it. So that when life was too much… When it got...